My life is pretty awesome. I feel world’s better than last night. I still might have to go to the doctor’s on Monday. Ugh. I hate doctors. I shouldn’t. I really don’t hate doctors. I hate going to doctors, but I digress.
My entire day I have looked up cold remedies, which actually some of them really help, went grocery shopping, cleaned my house enough for guests, and shared my inventory. What excitement! The inventory part was really good. The person I shared with did have some insights into my inventory that I did not have. I am excited to have a conversation with God about them.
Ruth is my book of the week. It was a good one to read before inventory. If Tamar and Ruth can precede Jesus, maybe Laura can come after Him. That gave me courage this morning. I will be reading two books this week. I haven’t chosen the second one yet.
I am much closer to sanity today than yesterday. If I was physically well, I think I would be sane. (and I would be bouncing off the walls in excitement about completing this step and moving on to step six. I love my life. I really do.)
Since I have been sick, I find myself repeating phrases I used to repeat in my life, especially when sick. Now I say something stupid and then say, “No you don’t, Laura.” That is a nice change.
I also through inventory shared with the other person about my rather scarring sick experiences in my life. That is why I am probably going to the doctor on Monday. That whole transparency/accountability thing.
Yes, I do love my life, and I am so glad love always holds people accountable. I am absolutely astounded I have people who love me so much in my life they are willing to hold me accountable. And not just for things that positively affect their lives, but for things that generally just affect mine. I think that is how I know God is good; He sends me His people.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. – James 5:16
Oh, I wanted to say one more thing. Last year about the time I did step four, I went through about two weeks of not “believing” in God. During this time, I both did not believe in Him and knew my position as His precious daughter did not change in spite of my shaking faith. When I came to the church I am currently at, I looked around and saw people who actually followed God. I realized this was a place I could work out my issues with men, with Christians, with trust, with myself, with women. The leadership here could withstand me going a bit crazy on them. Today as I finished my inventory and said goodbye to my friend, I realized the two situations are similar. I was in a place with people who loved Him so much I could trust them to love me through unbelief and pain while my walls came crashing down around me. They would love me even if I went a little crazy and treated them a little bad. They would take the time for that. Just like my accountability partners do.
He gave everything for me. Oh, that I could give Him myself!
Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. – Romans 6:13