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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

That was not me



If I started journaling again, would I have anything worthwhile to say for anyone other than myself to read? It's a good question. Probably not, but tonight I think it a worthwhile endeavor to pick up the keyboard and write.


I am starting a new chapter of my life in the next few weeks. The transition is wrought with as much insecurity as I've felt in awhile. Transitions might tend to do that to us, I think.


I don't spend an exceptional amount of disciplined, regular time in Scripture like I used to. Tonight as insecurity began to gnaw at my heart, I decided to set a timer and sit down with just my Bible. Within the reading of one chapter, my heart quieted.


"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God. Believe also in me." The words of Jesus before his death in the gospel of John never fail to bring some comfort. They are words for a scared, persecuted group of people after all. Doesn't he end up saying something like, "Do not be surprised if the world hates you. It hated me first."? I'm not persecuted, but I am scared.


I got up after reading a few chapters, paused the timer, and started my dental routine. (The more dental bills I pay, the longer my routine gets. haha) I put on a podcast before I brushed, scrolling through Bill Vanderbush's messages until I came to one titled, "Thus says the Lord, 'That was not me.'"


Just reading the title settled my heart even more. All the insecurities eating at my heart in this transition are not from God. Thus says the Lord, "That was not me."


"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Jesus (John 16:33 NIV

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