It is good to be home. Though to be entirely honest as I walked through the airport to the baggage terminal, I saw a flight for Punta Cana and thought “maybe I could go there instead.” Then at the baggage claim, I saw a pickup for Chicago and thought “or maybe there”. I cannot fathom on depending on God’s love and mercy to continue getting me through another year. I cannot fathom next year. I have no idea how I can continue doing what I am doing. Let alone what I believe He will lead me through in 2016!
But then I got in the Uber and on the ride home I thought about how different I was this year riding home from the airport compared to last year and the year before. I thought about how different I am. How God has changed me so much and I am in a place today I could not have imagined being in two years ago. At least not being in this soon. I think my very favorite thing with God is that He changes me on the inside. I don’t have to take me everywhere. I can give me to Him, and He can make me easier to be with. Which is nice since on some level I do have to be with me.
Now I better go to bed, so I can rise and shine in the morning. I think the hardest thing for me to fathom right now is that God will be faithful for a whole nother year. I am not sure whether I am doubting His faithfulness or His wisdom in leading me where He has led. I wonder how much more confused and in awe of His power I will be five years from now if I find this level of life so overwhelming.
His grace is enough. Undoubtedly even more than enough.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:9-10