Saturday – 12:30 am
This morning I doubled my time with God, but then minused one sixth from it. It was amazing. I felt ready to start working when I started to work. If I would not have done this, I would not have gotten through my day. At least not all the way to 12:30 am.
I did the weirdest thing today. I laughed. Now I laugh more often. Laughing is not really all that uncommon. But what is really uncommon is that I laughed for no reason for like an hour. It was sort of the opposite of when I get a trigger tripped and cry for an hour. This time I kept thinking about almost nothing and I laughed and laughed and laughed. The longer I laughed the less funny something had to be for me to laugh at it. It was bizarre and really quite cool. I laughed partly at the absurd place I am in life. Not absurd in a bad way. Just absurd because I know who I used to be. But it was not a mocking laugh. It was one filled with genuine joy. Joy that I not just get to do something, but that I get to experience relationship. Mostly the relationship part. God is so cool.
This afternoon I was in a situation where I occasionally get triggers tripped at least once a week. About 15 minutes into the experience it occurred to me that I was not even trying to connect or be nice. So I started to try just barely and had a massive amount of fun.
Tonight a friend told me my eyes were really blue, was I wearing colored contacts? After I finally understood the question, I finally answered with the only thing I knew how. “No, you have never seen me with no contacts. I am like blind. Colored contacts would be much to expensive at my prescription. It is probably because I am happy. I have been super happy all day.”
That is my celebration tonight. I was happy and apparently it gives me really blue eyes. And now I am crying thinking of the incredible people God has put in my life.
This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. – Psalm 118:24