I am absolutely all over the place emotionally. I am doing well right now, but today was a real roller coaster. It started off okay. I struggled with anxiety while outside of my home. I returned home and pretty much calmed down. But when I had my noon time with God, I ended up sitting down and bawling most of the time. It was kind of interesting. I don’t know how I feel about it. In any case, after that was done, I actually managed to write for awhile and then had step study. By the time my first friend arrived, I was entirely emotionally stable. When she asked how I was doing, I said, “Odd.” Which seemed like a very good description.
It occurred to me that if I am really recovering, I should often feel odd because I have never been to where I am today. It is odd to me how much of life is about feelings and how much of recovery is about feelings. I am super thankful I get to rejoice and be glad.
I wrote about 1,400 words today, which is very good, especially seeing as I only worked on it for like an hour and a half. That helped stabilize my emotions, I think. I was starting to feel the pressure of not prioritizing CR and writing higher than my new job. I need to relearn balance now that I have such a different job in my life.
I have not been quite having X time lately. Maybe I will hurry with this post and have another time with God before I sleep. Perhaps I will sleep better. I have been having a super hard time wanting to deal with my emotions before bed. Super hard time for right now. Compared to where I was a year and a half ago, I am doing extremely well.
His grace is enough for me. His power is perfect in my weakness.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9