I have decided I am going to spend the money I make on my shoes on my hair. Now that is incentive to sell them. I am amazed at how hard it is to say goodbye. Honestly, I may have to just throw them in the trash because I do not know if I will have the strength to sell them, but maybe that will be a healing cleansing process. The idea of it doesn’t feel that hot. I honestly never want to dance again, not that kind. The idea of that revolts me. I can’t describe the emotion that arises at the thought of selling my shoes online. It is indescribable.
I am so excited I can hardly live properly. I am excited for what God is doing in my church, in my friends, in my fellow leaders and in all my sisters and brothers. I am so excited right now I can hardly sit down. People all around me are having major breakthroughs. It is really cool to see.
I wrote today. It was a struggle. I just didn’t want to go back and relive what I had to to write. It isn’t that I am writing my story, but I am writing a story of addiction. I know what that is like. I need to revisit so much of my journey to write, it is tough. I couldn’t write this book a year ago because I didn’t understand the healing. I struggle to write the book now because I don’t want to remember that much about addiction!
I am really excited to get to it tomorrow after breaking through writer’s block today. Write, write, write, how could that be wrong?
Writing today was rough, but tonight I am filled with joy. I want to praise His name forever. Last night was perhaps similar after posting and praying a bit, I crawled into bed and had one of those conversations in my head with someone about my shoes. The imaginary someone (who is one of my mentors) asked me how I wanted to follow God. My response was my genuine response, “I want to follow Him so closely that dance shoes don’t matter.” That is how I want to follow Jesus, so my dance shoes don’t matter. Lay it all down.
For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God. – 2 Corinthians 1:20
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