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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Where all my dreams collide

Today was really good. Surprisingly good. Even in the morning. Apparently realizing God will work out justice is very helpful to my journey. Very low amounts of bitterness and anger, but I did feel quite anxious in church small group tonight. I have been a lot lately. Restless anxious that makes it very hard to be present and participate well. I want to talk to escape or cover up how I feel on the inside when I am there.

Otherwise, I did do some reflecting on commitment and wanting to run. God is graciously providing me with choices and options. So much of my life, I have felt like I never had choices. I really did not know I had choices. I did not know I could say no. Career wise I felt like I massively screwed up four years ago. It just has always made me feel so hopeless. It is good to feel much less helpless. God seems to be empowering me in counseling and in my job search. It is good to feel able. Not powerful. Not in control. But also not helpless.

I am so glad I am forgiving.

Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. – Luke 6:37

I like have never done this, but I am editing this post to add more. I forgot to say I experienced so much joy this morning, I danced from here to there. Today I am so incredibly humbled by where God has me. Tonight as I sat in dinner group, I thought of how I am living where all my dreams collide. I am not quite sure how to explain that statement. Have I always run from all my problems? Yes. Do I want to now? At least a little. Will I? No. I keep asking God to let me stay. For Him to give me the strength to work through all the pain I have to work through in order to stay and be loved.


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