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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Well-loved


I wonder for how many years of my life I am going to record my life here. I highly doubt the rest of it. Wouldn’t that be really weird? Maybe a couple more years. Today I had a lot of peace and joy. I have decided to just work on emotionally recuperating for a few weeks. Been a hard half a decade. Actually it was more like a hard decade. Odd how a few bad choices can really throw off one’s life.

If a companion of fools suffers harm, whatever becomes of she who decides to not engage in relationship at all? I think of her (or at least of me) that it is only the fool that lures her to her fall. Healthy, loving, wise people respect boundaries; so she (most clearly me) fell to the voices of the fools. They were the only ones she could seem to hear. Though truth be told, I think I was my own biggest fool. Not one single person with whom I was acquainted could possibly have been more foolish than I.

For the joy of the Lord is my strength. It feels so good to have spare time. I wonder why I thought I had to be so busy for the last four and a half years? Running from myself. Running from my thoughts. Running from my fears of being worthless. Maybe I was just scared free time and money would ruin me like I left it do last time.

I love how true the Bible is. I love how as I believe Him about more and more things my life becomes more filled with awesomeness. I love this place. Last night as I walked to dinner group, I prayed I would never have to leave. God knows right now I never want to.

Last night at dinner group one of the questions somehow mentioned family. This is family redefined. This is relationship more loving than I knew existed. Not because my temporal family is bad, but Jesus said it right when He said the ties of spiritual family are stronger.

The old man dies. The new arrives. I think those are two lines of a poem I wrote the night I got baptized. I don’t remember it all. I think its theology was slightly messed up. It would be seeing as I was so new to following. The last verse went something like:

They baptized me, Lord Jesus, Dipped me in the water. That little act symbolized the fact That I’m Your treasured daughter.

I am not sure it actually in anyway symbolizes that I am a daughter of the King, but it does symbolize the old has died. The new has arrived. I have been taking this Romans study slowly and so enjoying it. My spirit sang as I read it today (that is figurative. I just mean to say I was joyful. So very, very joyful on the inside).

Tonight I feel like a very well-loved woman. A very, very well-loved woman. I am working on memorizing a psalm. I have never really memorized Scripture intentionally in years. Jesus has loved me better than all others, but I am loving that God has me on Psalm 16. I love that I am getting to meditate on all its goodness.

I say to Yahweh, “You are my Lord. Apart from You I have no good thing.” I say of the holy people in the land. They are the noble ones in whom is all my delight. – Psalm 16:2-3

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