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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Trusting, Obeying

I am emotionally entirely drained right now. Last day as a regular sitter for a job I had for 17 months. I saw those kids learn to sit, walk, talk. Quitting was entirely the right thing to do for all parties involved, but it sure is rough. With everything else going on in my life, I just want to cry. Well, I might want to cry because I only got four and a half hours of sleep last night. Not enough for this chic. God bless parents!

God gave me courage and encouragement today. I am so excited for next year. I am excited for what God is doing in me personally, in my church and in CR. I really have no idea how He is going to do it, but what He is doing is incredible. It is amazing to anticipate the future for a reason other than trying to get away from my present.

I am also looking forward to the new year because that is when I will know what new income God has in store for me. For the next two weeks, I am just coasting on it being vacation. Thankful God has an incredible plan in place. I think this is the first time in my life I had to entirely let go of the old before getting to see the new. It did take me four months to be brave enough to follow Him in this.

I just saw the “His glory or your glory? Yours will die.” sign on my fridge. I wish I had kept a daily journal for that part of my story. Trusting God through that life transition was excruciating. Learning to trust Him rather. I had morning quiet time and evening quiet time. In the middle of the day I would just get so scared, I didn’t need discipline to have me literally run crying to Him. Well, as I recall there was more kneeling than running.

People will never remember my glory. It will always be a chasing after the wind. A vapor. Forgettable. Forgotten. Worthless.

His will be eternal. It is my joy to follow Him. I spent a lot of time today just being in awe of the influence He has given me. Not really being scared out of my mind by it. More being humbled into my seat. I don’t even know what the latter means. It is just sort of what it feels like.

I better just follow Him because I am so far out of my depth that it is absurd.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9

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