Tonight I am thankful. I am really overwhelmed in some areas because I do not know how to fix things. I wonder if this is the way step studies usually feel? I chose to focus on one area of recovery in my life for this study. I have been saying I am working through my issues of trusting men and Christian leadership, but I suppose that is inaccurate. The goal is not really to trust them, but to trust God as I love them and communicate with them and serve with them.
I think what I am feeling is a healthy amount of uncertainty. I am processing emotions. Feelings are raw sometimes. I am beginning to love and communicate with some men. Others I cannot even look at. It is an interesting journey. Only resolved by going through.
I just reread what I wrote. I think I could get into loving, communicating and serving. Trusting makes me run like hell, but maybe I can trust God to help me love men. hmmmm I may be onto something. So very thankful God is working through me and allowing me to serve His kingdom. I love the ministry He has given me to work in.
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” – Isaiah 6:8
Comentarios