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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Trust and obey

I figured out something today. A really long time ago, I had an article in the “weekly thought” category about how I had gotten to a point of understanding and knowing “to die was gain”, but I was not at a point yet of understanding and knowing “to live was Christ”. Today before church I had a conversation with a few friends in which this topic came up. I once again realized that though all this time had passed, I still couldn’t say it was a win/win for me. I still couldn’t say “to live is Christ.” To live seemed like a lot of work. Something about the thought processes of the message in church and my day had me realizing something. I think my expectation of what it will be like for me to realize “to live is Christ” is wrong. I think, wow do I really want to admit this?, I think I was picturing that if I attained this level of spiritual maturity that I would be living in some kind of spiritual utopia where I would be so in communion with Christ and be so good at listening to the Spirit and doing what He wished that the problems of this life wouldn’t bother me that much because I would be consumed with thinking about Him, communicating with Him and desiring Him.

Now some of that is probably true. “To live is Christ” must mean that I live a life obsessed by Him. But what about the verses that talk about sharing in Christ’s sufferings? “To live is Christ” must also be to experience His cross and His sufferings more and more each day. To learn a deeper sacrifice the longer my life on earth is. To more and more understand what it is to be nailed to a proverbial cross. So I am going to be engaging this a bit differently moving forward. I have a lot at the forefront of my mind and am not sure I can move this there, but I would like to engage it in my life in a much better way.

Today proved my brain is healing. I am so grateful. I am quite happy tonight. Trust and obey. Earlier today I considered that following Jesus is like playing “Simon says”. Don’t put your brain away, but just use it to follow.

If you love me, keep my commands. John 15

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