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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

To know and be known

I had a pretty good day. Nothing dramatic, though I am sure I could make it sound that way really easily. Meeting  cancelled tonight due to unforeseeable events, so that stress was taken away.

The Easter message yesterday challenged us to ask ourselves, “What does God really want?” Now on my note card, I got the answer right. Jesus wants to know me and be known by me. He wants intimacy. I also rabbit-trailed on more minor topics in my response: He wants me to trust Him and He wants to give me new life.

Now technically I suppose in order to have intimacy with God I do have to do these two other things. But I think my answer was only right on paper. I do not think it was right at all when I actually looked at my life.

I spent a lot of time today thinking about how life would look if the goal of each day was to get to know God better. After all if the goal of my entire life is to know God and be known by God, then it directly follows the goal of each and every day has to be to know and be known by God.

One of my initial thoughts was if I truly believed the goal of each of my days was to know and be known by God, my outlook on life would change from “OMG, how will I ever survive this week? There is way too much on my plate. I am in the middle of too much dramatic inner change. I am going to have a meltdown. I am going to have a breakdown. I am going to embarrass myself. I am never going to make it. ah, ah, aH, AH, AH” to “I am not going to be enough to make it through this week. Huh, I wonder how God is going to show up and be enough for every situation?”

Since my meeting was cancelled, I took a joy walk on my way home and really contemplated what the rest of my evening would look like if I really wanted to know God more through it. I decided it would include engaging with all the people on the sidewalk. Maybe not actually talking to them, but taking time for eye contact and some sort of humanization beyond treating them like a sign post, garbage can or any other random object along the street. I decided when I arrived home, I would sit on my front steps, risk getting my jeans dirty on the filthy concrete and talk to my neighbor who was generally out for a smoke. I would talk to her for as long as she wanted or until we both went inside. Then I would go to the park and be with people, not necessarily engage them, but be with them and be open to being engaged. I realized the farthest thing from my mind was sitting down by myself, reading the Scripture and praying. I guess I do not experience God most that way anymore. I also suppose on basis of this hypothetical evening, I should quit calling myself an introvert, maybe. Maybe. Yeah, no, pry still an introvert.

As I walked, I decided to ask myself this question every single day this week. Then I decided to only ask myself the question and answer it, but not actually challenge myself with following through on my hypothetical getting-to-know-God-more days. I got this idea from the series by Andy Stanley on wisdom where he challenges his audience to consider what the wise thing to do is throughout the series even if they do not commit to doing making the wise choice. (Thanks Andy!) I wanted to at least acknowledge there was room for change in my life.

Some random woman on a street corner greeted me and we exchanged nicities. “Have a nice day!” I said and continued on my way. I came home and a different neighbor was sitting out on my front porch having a smoke, so I said “hi”, carried on a minute or two of conversation and moved on upstairs. A trip to the park seemed like a dramatic commitment, so I decided to buy some gifts I had not gotten around to buying yet as my way of connecting with people. Then I talked to a random friend for 45 minutes, ate some rice, then some chocolate cake and called it a night.

Who said this week is going to be like last? I have chocolate cake this week.

This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. – Psalm 34:6-8

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