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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

The Wait: it’s Saaatuuuuurdaaaaaay

I have been listening to Francis Chan a lot recently, and it can be a little hysterical. He isn’t someone I would typically think of as a comedian; but after listening to about fifty of his messages on YouTube, I have gotten to know his speaking enough to be slightly amused. Challenged, and hopefully not deadened by listening to the Word more then living, but nonetheless also amused.

One of the things that slightly amuses me is his tendency to start his messages out with the question, “What if this is the last message that I ever preach because I die right after or during it?” He was busy asking this today when I thought, “What would my article say if I wrote this article like it was the last one I ever wrote before going home to meet my Maker?” My first answer was, “I can’t do that. I would write about Jesus instead of what I was planning to say. I would always talk about the same thing. I’d never say anything else.” Then I realized that today I was going to talk about Jesus anyway, and hopefully that is who I write about all the time!

Easter is behind us. For the first time I fasted during Lent, and frankly it feels like the Easter season lasted forever. Since Christmas. Maybe even longer. But maybe my calendar is all screwed up because I am still listening to Christmas music. No wonder I am confused. I am sure I could quit if I wanted, but I find Chris Tomlin’s Christmas music a source of happiness. Sometimes I just want to be happy, so I have decided to listen to it as long as it helps me be happy. After all, as the serenity prayer points out, “reasonable happiness” is as happy as I can be on Planet Earth; so I will do my best to enjoy the reasonable happiness that this simple pleasure can offer me. It also helps me focus on Jesus more than other worship music, and I have desperately needed that recently.

There is Friday when we die. There is Sunday when we rise again. Then there is Saturday while we wait. I suppose one could look at it from two different perspectives. Either we are dead as door nails in the grave ourselves, or we are waiting outside the tomb waiting expectantly for Jesus to appear.

I am in a Saturday in my life right now. In one way or the other, perhaps all believers are. Over the course of the last year, I have been to a few funerals. Oddly enough, it is here that I have experienced my faith more tangibly than at almost any other point in my life. I want to say “more than at any other point in my life”, but I don’t want to accidentally exaggerate. It is here in the midst of what we humans term tragedy that I realize I actually believe the gospel message.

Both of the funerals I recently attended were of people who believed in the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. To stand in those moments and know that it isn’t just nice words for me to say, “They are in a better place.” It isn’t a lie to think, “Their life has just begun.” It isn’t a false feeling to be intensely jealous that they are the ones who are standing before the Lamb and rejoicing at His throne. They are the ones who are hearing the words, “Well done.” I am on earth trying to follow. I am still down here in the midst of the pain of taking up my cross and following Him.

Nothing has made me long more to be chosen to be the one to go home next than these moments. The beauty of singing, “It is well with my soul.” while knowing I actually know and believe with every fiber of my being that it is well with my soul. Whether my physical body is dead or alive, I am safe.

I struggle to connect with God through music, but I will say that singing worship songs at the last funeral had me truly worshiping God through music for the first time in my life.

It’s Saturday. It is probably going to be quite a while before Sunday comes and I go home to be with my Savior. In the meantime, my body of flesh will still be just as alive. My sinful nature will still be kicking and screaming while trying to make itself great instead of worshiping my Savior.

Outside of what we humans term tragedy, I will be on Planet Earth for another fifty years. I don’t find that thought comforting or encouraging. It means that I am not even half done with my life on earth. It means that I have only followed Him for about twelve of the sixty total years that I will follow Him on earth. It means that I have a long time left to experience pain and brokenness. It means I will experience the words of Romans 7 many, many more times. “We know that the law is spiritual, but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do for what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me…”

I don’t know how I could keep courage if the Apostle Paul didn’t explain his own struggle in such a way. Especially after having read his eloquent declaration in Romans 6 that we have died with Christ and we will be resurrected with Him. That our old sinful nature died with Him on the cross, so that our new nature could be free from sin. We no longer need to be slaves to sin.

Sometimes Romans 6 seems to mock me. My life doesn’t seem very resurrected. Like someone insane, I seem to do the same thing over and over again while expecting different results each time. I fail in loving the people I want to love most – again and again and again. Sometimes I think fifty more years of being in the flesh will be more than my faith can handle before it breaks down entirely while screaming, “God, where are You in me because I seem to be just merely human!!?!!”

Then there are moments like last night when I sit around a table with friends, and one of the questions the “leader” of the group asks is “Which areas of your life has God resurrected? Where have you seen God bring a Sunday after a Friday?”

And the only answer I can give is, “All of it. Every single area. Every single part of my being. Nothing is the same as before I surrendered to Him. All of it. He has resurrected all of it.”

Let the Spirit and the Bride say, “Come!”, and let the one who hears say, “Come!”; let the one who is thirsty come, and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life….

He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.”

So be it. Come, Lord Jesus! Revelations 22

Where is the Saturday in your life? What are you waiting for? Have you died to something (addiction, swearing, over-spending, etc) but not yet seen the positive fruit in your life of doing so? Do you believe God will bring a Sunday?

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