I am coming to a point in my life when the fruit of the Spirit is becoming really real. It makes sense to me. Over the course of the last four plus years on this blog, you have heard me go through a lot of anguish. One goes through anguish when they are dying. One of my friends calls it “God taking you down to the studs”. I like that. I have done things like “Take all I have and give it to the poor”. I cried. Very few people understood. There was no one to walk the emotional journey with me. Most people thought I was crazy. Some sort of turned on me. Some admired me. Many just hoped God would never do such a thing as ask them to do the same. I cried and was alone and was scared and sometimes nearly hungry. I wept, but I also died. Now in the same financial situation that I was in during those times of excruciating pain, I praise God, saying, “Everything I have is from Him and through Him and for Him. All I have is His, was His and will be His. Money is the last thing I need. All I need is Him. He is sufficient.”
I started a fast today. You have heard me go through excruciating pain here over fast. God has weeded so many things out of my heart through fasting. I cried. I wept. Few people understood. Few joined me on the journey. No one wanted to join me in my tears. Today things were so different. Joy filled the space God had created through all that pain. From morning until evening, may day has been filled with joy. I can be talking about the difficult things in my life and a big smile is on my face. And trust me, earth is no place for the timid. Shit happens in life. Shit has really happened in my life. But I don’t stand on a rug; I stand on a Rock. It can’t be pulled from under my feet.
When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.” – The Gospel according to John
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