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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

The LORD is my provider

9:41 PM – Sunday

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says my sweet Jesus. I sure am a fan of Him and the plans. Today was a fascinating day, filled with ups and downs and all kinds of emotions. Before one social event I was on a down. Before the next I was on an up. The up one was pretty fun though because I forgot I shouldn’t share my up-ness with anyone. So I cheerfully shared my up-ness with a lot of people. It was good because I accidentally committed my will to God.

Remember how I was working on applying step 3 to loving people who scare me? They should not scare me, but I would be lying to say that being a part of something doesn’t scare me. Well, actually being a part of things I do not care if I am a part of doesn’t scare me at all. It is becoming a part of something I want to be a part of that scares me. Anyway, I digress. I accidentally did the right thing today and just was and let people in. I let them in for the up and the down. It was cool.

My God was so awesome this evening. I love getting an answer to prayer. Well, technically I won’t know for a few weeks if it is an answer to prayer, but it sure looks like one! I was so excited I couldn’t sit down. It’s the problem with doing so much of my computer/office type work alone as I have over the last year. One loses their office manners. How is one supposed to sit down when one is excited? One should get up and pace back in forth in one’s apartment. Then try to sit down and do something. Then get up and pace. I am not sure I am cut out to work with more than me in the room when I am excited. Anyways, I was alone; so it didn’t matter. But it really is also what I do when I am mad or scared or upset or just need to pray in general. Not really socially appealing behavior, so it is a good thing there was no socializing involved.

I did a wise thing today and started a journal just for my experiences in leadership. It is in a notebook I started after leaving NYC three years ago. “Dear Jesus, it’s me again, finally” says the cover. Just glancing through the dates in the journal, I can tell exactly the time I started turning to pornography and alcohol to vent my pain. I quit writing to Jesus regularly! What a fool I was!

I finished the homework for step/principle 3 in Life’s Healing Choices. LHC actually just talks about the principles not the steps. Forgive me for always saying step. I am more used to thinking of the steps, I guess. It was cool because part of the homework was looking back at the answers from three weeks ago when I did step 1 and comparing what my answers to those questions would be now. They were different. Jesus is cool.

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34


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