I am thankful tonight. All this talk about church in the class I am taking prompts me to think a whole lot more critically about mine and then inspires me to be incredibly grateful for the people around me. I baked cookies tonight, which is probably why I am being extra grateful. I become incredibly grateful when I am domestic in my own home. It gives me such warm, fuzzy feelings.
I talked on the phone to a friend, while I did so. I tried unsuccessfully to tell her exactly how amazing my week was. How incredibly good God is. How the conversations I have had with God in the last week have seemed to change me into a whole new person again. This is probably literally the 100th time I have felt this way. It has been a long journey with a lot of “breakthroughs”. It is so fun to celebrate them.
Last night I worshiped God in a roomful of many people I know. They are my family. The same God who is in me is in them. It was a really cool experience. It was different than any other experience I have had with them. I think because I am finally beginning to feel like one of them instead of like an outsider. I do not want to try to describe the difference I felt within me because I want to experience it and not analyze it. It was good. It was incredibly good.
The last time I lived at a place this long, I freaked out and moved away a few months from now. I don’t think anyone knew except myself the reason I moved was because I freaked out. I have successfully lied even to myself in the past about changing goals and careers and cross country moves. I have ran away, but this time I am not running away. I am committed. I get to be committed because the old me died and God is going to help me love people enough to stay.
God is so good. He is cleaning me up from the inside out. Sometimes from the outside in. I am a few weeks away from finishing a one-year fast from an outward sin. I am so excited for that celebration! How many things are more worthy of celebration than being free from a binding sin? While I was honoring God on the outside, He was changing me on the inside. God is so good.
Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. – 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
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