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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Sulking

I was depressed today. It seems to be a new thing for Saturdays. I did notice that trend about noon today. About five o’clock I decided to just take today to be sad, and then be happy tomorrow. Just take today to be sad about the hard parts about following Jesus. I decided I was going to quit a bunch of things, but I decided not to tell anyone since I was not actually going to quit anyway, so why bother telling anyone about it? After I decided to be sad, I became much happier. I am tired, ready for bed, and unsure I am very good at following Jesus at all.

I was thinking about how following Jesus isn’t always fun, which I would argue is true; but then I got to thinking that following God should be great fun. The only reason it isn’t is because I am so selfish and I get so caught up on me that I miss the adventure of life with God.

I wondered today how much my life would improve if I just managed to be a servant to all the people who annoy me. If I could actually just give up my own life, I could have a ridiculous amount of fun serving everyone around me. I spend so much time thinking about how to be right in my own eyes or the eyes of those around me. I waste most of my life on earth. Sigh.

I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord. Apart from you I have no good thing.” Psalm 16:2

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