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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Such joy

I am so thankful. Tonight was our first step study meeting in three weeks. We texted each other through the holidays and stayed accountable. The nice part about tonight…there were tons of nice things about tonight, like just seeing my step study sisters. But one of the things I wanted to celebrate here is this:

The last time I went through these steps I answered a question categorically different than I did this time. We were to number the following seven things in order of how we prioritized them: career, family, church, Christ, friendships, money and ministry. I don’t know how I prioritized them all last time; but I remember clearly my first action was to draw an extra line, write “myself” beside it, and put a “1” on the line. I couldn’t lie to myself. I was above everything.

This time without at first remembering that time. I looked at the things I was to prioritize, I saw the whole family one. Which family? The temporal or eternal one? Church. Which church? The body of Christ or the event I attended once a week. I added an extra line, I wrote “forever family” next to it, and I put a “2” on the line. I wrote “event” next to church and put “temporal” by family. Now I knew what I was prioritizing. I didn’t need an extra line for “1” because this time I could put it beside Christ. I am so glad so much changes in a year of aggressive spiritual growth in a 12-step program and an amazing forever family!

We also had answered the question “What are you thankful for?” over the last few weeks. I found several different ways to rephrase His church. My mentors, my leaders, my church, my forever family, His body. How many times can I say this before I finally feel like I have said it? Maybe I ought to start telling them about it. Maybe that would alleviate my need to constantly be rejoicing over the people in my life and the future for these people. God knows how excited I am for our year with Him!

Back to the priority question. It is not that I do not prioritize myself yet. I am sure I still do. I am looking at my list of eight things now. “I” would be in fourth place if I added a line for it and made it nine things. I still rate up there in my own estimation (but hey, I would like to be more important than money and career!). But at least, I can genuinely say with some integrity that I am no longer #1.

It is so good to be sober. It is so good to not be entirely wrapped up in satisfying my addictive cravings. It is good to no longer have to fight so hard to not relapse. My, but 2014 was a battle!

To God be the glory!

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. – Galatians 5:22-25

I have started to follow Jesus. I am so glad.

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