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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Submission: waiting here for You

A few months ago, I began to study a passage of Scripture which often leaves women feeling guilty instead of blessed when they are living under the law instead of under grace. I knew God wanted me to study it, but after the first morning, I was like, “Really, God? I can’t face that every day!”

But later that same day, it occurred to me that the shame I felt when I interacted with that Scripture did not originate from my relationship with God. It originated from reading the passage and wondering how people thought I stacked up compared to this woman. I was allowing the viewpoints of many imaginary people to interrupt a conversation that God intended to be just between Him and me.

I realized Proverbs 31 had nothing to do with the law — whether I was good enough. It was a blessing God spoke over women of noble character. He has promised that if I hunger and thirst for righteousness, I will be filled. I can become a woman of noble character. He has guaranteed this to me. The passage has nothing to do with other people but only Him and me. The next day I studied the passage with joy instead of shame. My character is between God and me; it is not between God, other people and me.

There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I am entirely 100% free of shame in my relationship with my Father.

Recently I noticed another problem in my life. Waiting for people was driving me entirely crazy, and I am not exaggerating. I was so annoyed. A few weeks ago, I finally noticed the error of my ways. I was waiting on the wrong person. I should have been waiting for God to show up, not for people to show up. What was the next thing God wanted me to do? Where did He want me to go next? What did He want me to do with my extra time?

People did not need to help me decide this. Only He could. Whatever the outcome of people’s decisions, I would still be free to follow His call freely with my entire being. No one could prevent me from doing that. I needn’t wait on the command of man, but solely on the command of God. Wow! But that has relieved a lot of frustration in my life!

I have noticed that anytime I look to a human for anything, it creates a lot of frustration. In some way, it must always set them up to be an idol. It puts them in a position of being my source. Immediately the relationship seems to be filled with frustration — and not just for me. People were not created to be gods. We do not handle worship well.

So I have begun to wait here for Him. It hasn’t removed all the pain from my life. I still spend a fair amount of time with tears running down my cheeks. But now the wait has become emotionally safe. He told me to wait. It is the only thing He has told me to do for a few months now. Wait. Wait. Wait.

Sometimes I ask Him things like, “Can I run in place while I wait?” or “What if I went and did something else, and then came back and got in line to wait again? That seems more efficient.” But He seems to think that is digging my own cisterns that cannot hold water. He is my Source of life. I must wait on Him.

For the first time in my life, I am beginning to enjoy waiting. I am not very good at it, but a part of me hopes it lasts a little while. Another part hopes it ends tonight. But all in all, everything changed when I realized I should never wait on man but on God. He is my leader.

Man will always disappoint. God never will.

Do you wait on God or man? Do you wait well or are you constantly frustrated? Are you trying to get something from people that you will only ever be able to get from God?

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