I am so tired all I can do is yawn. I shouldn’t be that tired. I should be fairly well rested. I should go to bed as soon as possible. I feel like what I have to say here is pretty redundant some days. Repenting has been a little bit annoying. I worked on step four for about half an hour again today. Honestly, the good part about doing step four now is that as I write out the issues and the answers to the questions, I can immediately see how amends have to be made or at least what some of the amends might look like.
This is by far the hardest step four I have done in a couple years. I am biting the bullet and trying to be as honest as possible about everything as much as I possibly can. Relationships I have not been willing and/or able to deal with yet are coming to the forefront. Would you know I am learning that I have responsibility in them too! It is good to have more clarity, but I did find myself at the point where I was when I did step four a few years ago. This is where when one looks at one’s life all they can find good in it is that they have believed in Jesus and decided to follow. The rest all seems to suck. So I know I have to “balance” it out. It may be true that all my righteousness is as filthy rags, but it is also true that I am the righteousness of God in Christ.
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21