I don’t think I have ever posted in my daily journal at noon and have no real idea why I am now. I am super restless in my spirit. I have been for the last few days now. There is something I dearly love about those days when I am restless unless I am praying. It is a good thing to currently do work that I can pray as I do.
YouTube has randomly suggested that I listen to the Gaithers sing “the God of the mountain is still God in the valley.” Today I am extremely grateful. In the midst of what is utter chaos, I have peace and joy. I don’t understand what has happened to me or what will happen to me, but I know I have a most faithful Friend. When I moved to the East Coast five years ago, people would say things to me like, “I can’t believe your moving across the country alone (again)” or “I would never be able to do that alone” and things like that. I would always narrowly restrain myself from saying, “Oh, I am not going alone. Jesus is coming with me.” But I didn’t want to sound crazy even when I was talking to believers. He is my most faithful Friend. He will be with me eternally. The God of the day is still God in the night.
I am so glad that He is ever present with me. I am grateful that some days it seems our relationship is nearly tangible. I am so grateful for His Spirit. I think of when Jesus told His disciples that it would be good for them if He went away because then He would send the Holy Spirit and the Holy Spirit would be better than Him. I wonder what the disciples thought on the day of Pentecost? What was it like to experience God in us for the first time? To never need to feel truly alone again because He is always with us? How crazy it must have been to be the first disciple to speak in tongues or heal the sick! I think I would have been standing there in disbelief asking myself if that really happened or if I was hallucinating. Do anything you want to me, but never take His Spirit from me. How would I ever know what to do? How would I bare one second without direct fellowship with God?
I am so grateful that I can stand confidently with Him. I may be totally intellectually confused about the last year of my life. I may not understand a million of the things that have happened to me. But below all that intellectual confusion is a peace that transcends understanding and a still, small voice that says, “This is the way; walk in it.” He is generally faithful to tell me that next step. Sometimes His next step is “wait”. Sometimes it is “Go”. But it is always something. Faithful. True. My God. Complete. Whole. Father, Son and Spirit.
The God of the good times is still God in the bad times. What a blessing that every day I can know Him more. Sometimes I think I simply want to live a life where I learn to quench the Spirit less every day, so I have more and more of Him.
For the one whom God has sent speaks the words of God, for God gives the Spirit without limit. John 3
The gospel of John: how the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, me and all other believers live in unity. Or something like that. Undoubtedly theologians (systematic ones) disagree with me. :)
I have given them the glory you gave me, that they may be one as we are one – I in them and you in me – so that they may be brought to complete unity. John 17