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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

So She Did

Pure joy filled her inmost being. She never knew there would be a day when she had peace on this earth. She never knew it was possible to enjoy the quietness of her own peaceful inner being. As she pondered which story she wanted to write, she knew she wanted to write one filled with joy because it is how she felt. She wanted to let the world know how amazing being able to connect with the people around her is.

“Welcome to Hoboken Grace,” he said, “I hope you will make yourself right at home.”

The young woman supposed she would. After all, she was committed to staying at this church for at least three months no matter how she felt about it. She did not know how she felt about it yet, except she knew she wanted to run. But then she always wanted to run. It had little to do with what surrounded her. She never wanted a home, but there seemed to be a part of her that knew she was here to stay. With a fierce determination she began to grow roots.

In retrospect she does not think she will ever forget the day she leaned against a fence chatting with other random volunteers serving in the aftermath of a hurricane. For some random reason, one of the leaders from church made a comment about her. “That is because she is committed,” he said. Her heart glowed with warmth someone would ever think that about her. Another part of her laughed. The young man had no way of knowing there were car keys in her pocket. All her earthly possessions fit in her car. The knowledge she could leave tomorrow gave her strength to stay.

But even before that she made a weekly commitment to serve in children’s ministry. The people around her did not know she was not really committed. She was just committed until she left. She held those little babies, half of them experiencing separation anxiety, and comforted them in their pain. The people around her seemed to think she was so loving, but she knew the truth. She was not. She really did not care one way or the other about the children in her arms. But she closed her eyes, and a determined prayer ascended from her heart, “God, change my heart. Make me passionately care about the eternal salvation of every single person on earth.” She never really believed the change was possible, but she was desperate. She tied a knot at the end of the rope, hung on and prayed for her life.

Months later she took a leadership position. No one around her seemed to notice she never actually agreed to do so. No verbal commitment passed her lips. She led by default. She just kept showing up. Some things are so much easier when they are not verbalized.

The young woman loves the little children now. She is committed. She knows how she feels about her community. Tears slide down her cheeks as she tries to comprehend the love she experiences. A love so strong it demands commitment. The beautiful part is it is a commitment she willingly gives. The incomprehensible part is she values relationships with other people more than her ego, money, pride, time or career.

As she reflects on the incredible heart change over the last few years, she wonders how it all happened. It all started with two two-word phrases, which would change the way she followed Jesus forever. Leverage everything. Love does.

So she did.

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