I have never felt more single than I did today. I have never cried about it either to the best of my knowledge. I never thought I would be one of the people who would move across the country to be closer to family, but I am beginning to consider it. How lovely it would be to actually be in committed relationships with people! How good it would feel to be needed and have a role to play in someone’s life.
Early on today, I wondered what He means by a broken heart. Does He always want me to have it? If He comforts me does it go away? Does my broken heart and contrite spirit stay? It seems to me that I am more broken now than I have ever been. I have also followed God more closely in the last year than I ever have. Doing everything that I know that His Spirit prompted me to do. Finishing the work. Completing the task. I have followed with all of my focus. Many would still judge me because they don’t think following could ever have my life look the way it looks now. They might judge and say if it is so broken then I can’t be fully following. All I have is His, and it has been for so very long. I have nothing else to give Him. I can only follow.
And now to answer the question: California or Hoboken?
Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus’ body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot. They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?” “They have taken my Lord away,” she said. “and I don’t know where they have put Him.” At this she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” John 20
When the Son of Man comes in His glory and all his angels with him, he will sit on his glorious throne. Matthew 25
My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. John 14
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