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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Serve

Friday – 12:10 A.M.

So I started a TED talk to give me incentive to quick write and get ready for bed. It is even on creativity, so maybe I will get some bright ideas on tablecloths in the next 24 hours.

I was a little anxious this morning before my first meeting. I retained my anxiety slightly when alone until my second meeting late this afternoon. Then I was able to just concentrate on life and get a very productive hour of work in before my third meeting. Then I came home and looked for tablecloths for an hour. One would think I actually cared about what was on a table.

I have been thinking a lot about service lately. It probably helps that we are on steps 10, 11 and 12. The focus becomes service at the end of the CR journey. I still think service should start on everyone’s second day at CR. I may be biased because I am quite sure service is what changed me most. I used to not care about anyone but myself. If my family didn’t get saved, I didn’t care if anyone else did either. I prayed so long before that changed. Prayed and served. I poured myself out for the people I was not passionate about because I couldn’t for the ones I was. At some point I began to care and I quit praying for a heart change because my heart had changed. I don’t even know when it happened. Last summer sometime, I think.

Step study was tonight. It was so nice to share. We are beginning step 12. Almost done. I will restart again soon as I lead another. I wonder what that trip through the steps will look like. My trip with Life’s Healing Choices is stuck on step 4 right now. Moral inventories. They never get easier. I keep realizing I resent more people than I thought I did. When I think of them, I just wince a little. Some of them I am so embarrassed to admit because what they did that caused the resentment was so small that I should have forgiven a long time ago!

But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code. – Romans 7:8

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