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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Redeemer

There is one kind of person in this world I really like. They are the people who come to CR, particularly the ones who found CRs and hang on for the crazy ride. I shared my testimony at a neighboring CR tonight. Man, was that a good experience. Very encouraging. The first time I have shared the CR version of my testimony in a year and a half. Because you know there is a CR version and there is a the rest of the world version. One is a version you know will never be repeated. One is offered in a space where everyone is seeking to become vulnerable themselves or already are. The other? Well, I write this blog, who am I kidding? As long as it is off video, I probably only have one testimony these days.

Writing today was phenomenal. I made it to a really sad part of the book. It was nice that the weather was rainy and dreary. It helped me feel sad, so I could write more easily. I am not being sarcastic when I say I delighted in being sad today. In fact, as much as I wanted to go to the CR, I also just wanted to stay home, stay sad and write, write, write. I am aiming to write about 14,000 more words before having a rough first draft. That means I should finish by my goal date of next Friday. I am really excited. I never knew I could write something 139 single-spaced pages long and stay on topic. Now if only it make sense and has redeeming value!

Otherwise, I felt very loved today. It was very odd to read my super vulnerable testimony from stage to a room of strangers. Though I am not sure if one goes to a CR anywhere they are really a stranger to me. Occasionally, as I was sharing the more iffy parts, I couldn’t believe my own ears that I was really talking about fantasizing about sex as a young child to a room half full of men or later discussing how God used the discipline of fasting to teach me how to help me break my masturbation problem. Seriously. But God is good and someone heard something that changed their life tonight. My God is a Redeemer, so we all were absolutely sure.

For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. – Romans 8:13

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