I am happy right now. Tired and happy. My God is good and strong and mighty. No hay nada que no puede hacer. I wonder if I spelled that all right? Anyway, there is nothing that He cannot do. Step study number three started tonight. I am so excited to see God work in more people’s lives. My life is being transformed. Their lives are being transformed. It is a happy transformational process.
I did not do well today because I did not use my new coping skills this morning. I thought, “I am okay today. I feel good. I do not have to separate all my worlds on paper.” So instead of being functional and lovely. I struggled with anger and projection. Finally about 4:30 this afternoon I admitted to myself what I was really upset about. Almost 100% of the time I am upset about something I cannot control. I was today, too.
I also noticed today that the better things in my life goes, the angrier I get about it. Isn’t that weird? I get more and more upset about the things I cannot control. I literally heard positive news today that made me angry! How bizarre! I am about to give you some entirely irrelevant psychobabble, but it seems like it brings up anger about all the times I was not successful. Isn’t that odd? It is the time I should celebrate more than any other time. I am winning!
Right now I am so thankful I can trust the process. I love God for being faithful. All I have to do is trust Him and trust His Spirit in people. I don’t need to know the answers. I just need to know the One who does. Now I am going to commit to separating my worlds in God time tomorrow morning, so I don’t have to live a miserable life tomorrow!
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11