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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Overwhelmingly blessed

I spent the first half of the day quite emotionally overwhelmed at the idea of my life. It was also at my life. But the thought of my life overwhelmed me so much that I wanted to hide in bed all day. I did for a good portion of it. I am not a hide in bed kind of person. I didn’t want to leave my bed because I was afraid if I did, another overwhelmingly amazing thing would happen to me and I would be too overwhelmed to function.

I did have my Bible with me, but I was too overwhelmed to even read, so I decided to take a nap with my Bible by my pillow and hope somehow its comfort would somehow find its way into me as I slept. When I finally awoke three hours later, I was no longer emotionally exhausted but physically exhausted instead. Then I went out with a friend and hung out for a few hours and it was amazingly wonderful and I live the best life ever. Who after all has a life where they want to stay in bed to dodge good things that are happening?

I did work on my inventory today with much more success than on Wednesday. At least I wasn’t shaking and everything. Though I always think maybe I am accomplishing more emotional healing with all the shaking than I am when I go at it much more logically.

Step study this week is a breeze. We are on the lesson of being grateful. The questions are so ridiculously easy. List three parts of your recovery you are grateful for. List three people who have helped you on your journey to recovery you are grateful for. Why?

They are a cake walk. A real emotional break from recording all the things I tend to do when I am hurting, exhausted, angry, resentful or tense. That was last week’s job. Step 4 may be all about what we have done in our past, but step 10 is about what we are doing in our present. I think I found step 10 just as painful! It is basically listing all the ways the events from step 4 are still affecting me. I would rather just be thankful.

Then the step study guide has the audacity to tell me I should tell these people I am grateful for them. Well, after all the amends the book is convincing me to make, saying thank you is a cake walk! There is a lot of cake in this post.

And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:19

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