Open hands, held out

Wow, I have been entirely hitting a wall at 8:30 pm this entire week. I am tired. The x time has been amazing. I thought about the name of the Lord being a strong tower today. I read the Psalms during my last x time, and it was the first time I have ever enjoyed them. I just told a friend maybe it is because I am not so wrapped up in myself now that I don’t mind just reading something that praises Him. I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I am not where I used to be.

This week has been full of what seems to be giant breakthroughs in my journey. For example, I have learned that if I spend the amount of time with God that I need to spend with God, I have enough time for the stuff in the rest of my life. Who knew admitting to being broken beyond my ability to cover up my own brokenness or be my own strength would be so freeing? (That was only a little bit sarcastic. I keep learning this on a new level.)

I have been thinking a lot recently about OHHO, an acronym that the pastor at my first Bible-believing church taught us. He was known for his acronyms, as I recall; but this is the only one I remember. It stood for Open Hands Held Out. I don’t remember anything else in the message, but I remember where I sitting in that church during that message. It was an old bar turned into a church building. I love God.

The pastor had us all close our eyes and open our hands. I was such a control freak at the time that it was really, really hard for me. I do not remember if I ever succeeded. I just remember trying to do it and having everything within me just want to keep my fists clenched. Well, everything except the part of me that wanted to open them up so badly I can remember it nine years later. I cannot honestly even think of another sermon I remember from more than two years ago. Clearly I really wanted to open those hands up and let God control my life.

I am trying to give my ministry and my future over to God. Therefore been thinking about the OHHO. Because other parts of my life are changing, too. I will just trust Him. I can sit with hands open now with my eyes closed. You know I used to be such a control freak that if I didn’t sit with my back against the wall in a restaurant so I could see the entire room, I couldn’t enjoy my meal. My God delivers.

The name of the LORD is a fortified tower; the righteous run to it and are safe. – Proverbs 18:10