Absolutely exhausted tonight. I did have a pretty good day. I actually managed to start the second draft of my novel, which is a huge step for me. Super excited about it. Also did not go to near as bad of a place emotionally as I did last week. I did struggle to want to reach out to people and have them care about me. I made myself do it anyway.
I got some stuff ready for counseling tomorrow, which as I wrote the stuff down, I decided when I die, no one should ever read anything I have written down in my apartment. “Inventory” is sprinkled around in too many notebooks. It could be just a bit hurtful to read. It would prevent anyone from thinking I am a super Christian though. The amount of pain I have caused in this world takes title away from me.
I decided to concentrate on celebrating growth today even if it was getting to be a tough day. All in all I read Philippians three times. That book may actually sink into my heart by the time I am done with it. I also figured out I am behind on my Bible reading plan, I think. I am going to have to catch up. That annoys me. I thought I was ahead.
Anyway, today I am so thankful that I had a super enjoyable weekend. I started to pray on Sunday for my nervous system. I should have probably been asking God to heal my “nerves” and “reactions” before. I always just figured I had to learn how to get through them and eventually overcome them.
Tomorrow is counseling, and I have been a bit scared all afternoon. My God is greater. My God is stronger.
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. – Philippians 1:6