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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

One more step

I am so tired tonight that an hour ago at small group they had to repeat a question for me three times. I still wanted to say I have no idea what you just said. Almost 12 hours of babysitting, a meeting with my pastor and small group. My brain is fried. Wait, did I say a meeting with my pastor?

I woke up rather joy-filled this morning. I figured it was due to people praying for me. I didn’t even lose my joy when I had a headache from listening to a song in Spanish one too many times in an attempt to memorize it. I may have lost some of it though when I lost the little boy’s hat on the way back from the park. Oh boy.

Then I trekked on down the hill to meet with my pastor, and the miracle was not that the meeting went well, that I “survived it” or that he is pretty cool. The miracle is that I only had anxiety the last few blocks of my walk to the office and I wasn’t scared at all during the meeting. This might be my really tired brain talking, but sometimes I think the miracle is that there are people. I was going to say that there is a God, but then realized I clearly had my logic backwards.

I have not been talking about my conversations with God over the last few days because I cannot remember them and I am not sure I am having them. I have even been struggling with prayer first thing in the morning. Usually I like to say “hi” to God in the morning. I did pray today, but it really wasn’t a conversation. I am not sure why, but I think my prayer life is degenerating into me trying to talk to God and not listening.

But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; – Isaiah 43:1-3


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