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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

On the fence

Today I am either both going and staying, or neither staying or going. I had a lot of peace today with some moments of sorrow. Right now in this moment, I am randomly super excited about God. The “mischievous smile” kind of excited. The “randomly start clapping” (benefit of living alone) kind of excited. I am not sure why I am excited, but probably because I was feeling really exhausted from three separate and intense emotional conversations about me and my future today with three different well-respected mentors in my life. Well-respected by myself, and I suppose, others as well. If they aren’t respected by others, they should be. Anyways, I was feeling exhausted, pessimistic and down. I couldn’t imagine making a decision about anything based on anything except emotional exhaustion (so clearly not going to make any decisions tonight). In my exhaustion, I prayed a prayer that Jesus taught me in the book of John. He repeats some version of it more than once. “Father, glorify yourself in me.” I have found that prayer is effective. Boy, was it today anyway! I prayed it several times throughout the day.

Whatever step I make next may He greatly glorify Himself in me!

If I didn’t have to leave, I would definitely go. But I bet we would all be in two places if we could. haha

After Jesus said this, he looked toward heaven and prayed, “Father, the hour has come. Glorify your Son, that your Son may glorify you.” John 17


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