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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Not wise enough

Today was a pretty quiet day. We had a message on Sunday on Proverbs 13:20, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” I thought about this a lot. Who have I historically gotten advice from? Who am I getting it from now? How is it all working out for me?

One of the things I really enjoy about my church and other amazing speakers like Andy Stanley and Louis Giglio is they encourage you to get to the heart of the issue. Why are you doing this, really? Like CR. My analytical side really enjoys that process. The side of me that does not like to be humbled – not so much.

Yesterday I had started to categorize different areas of my life, so I could think about good people to get advice from in each area. It turns out there were at least fourteen categories, so I am either going to have to categorize my categories or have so many people I am trying to learn from that I confuse myself.

Today I thought about some of the categories I had made yesterday and how I had defined wisdom in these areas of life. The shocking part is I learned that some of the people I was getting a decent share of advice from in these areas, had none of the demonstrated wisdom I was looking for in these areas. That caught my attention.

So I asked myself, “Why was I asking them for advice?” I discovered it was because I generally did not want to make a decision. Historically, I went to people who loved to give advice instead of those who had good advice to give. Because it was easy and they had a strong opinion which they greatly enjoyed giving, so I could just go with that answer and feel minimal responsibility for the outcome.

During the more disastrous times in my life, I went to people who loved to give opinions to get an opinion. Now I realize what I want in a “counselor” is not someone to give me an opinion, but someone to challenge me to grow. Someone who is willing to sacrifice their relationship with me to challenge me with actual biblical truth, but very reluctant to challenge me with their own opinion. Someone who is not just proving with their words they know what the Scriptures say or what the right answer is, but someone who is demonstrating by their choices they believe what those Scriptures say and are seeing them played out in their own life. The number one way I see someone as wise is humility: willing to take the lowest position, teachable, willing to teach and a servant.

I answered my step study questions today. I noticed when I answered them I avoided talking about anything hard. I probably will answer them again tomorrow or Thursday. By the time I finished I felt they needed a bit more transparency to have a relevant meaning to my life. It’s just so hard.

Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. – Proverbs 15:31

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