I opened my blog to start writing and saw my quote from yesterday, “I am a fish out of water, and I am just flopping around today.” That is how I feel tonight. Reading the post made me feel like crying. I am not sure if I can even remember what happened today. I do not even know if I thought today. Ah, yes I did because I texted a thought to a friend.
The thought was about the difference between being not guilty and being not responsible. For some time I have contemplated how we can have no condemnation as children of God, but still need to take steps 4 – 10. If we are not guilty, why cannot we just sweep everything under the rug and ignore sin and its consequences? The deepest thought I have thought so far is that not guilty does not mean not responsible. At least not in God’s kingdom. I may not be condemned for the lie I told yesterday, but I will have to bear the fruit of my actions.
I have been stepping into the world of beginning to encourage men. I do not know if I am any good at it. I often send verses, cheers and “I love you’s” to the women I know best. Not the men. It is a bit awkward for me to do so, but I suppose I will grow into this role.
Today I looked back through some correspondence and realized exactly where I was two months ago. No wonder I am feeling so overwhelmed! An enormous amount has happened to me in the last two months. I need an emotional sabbath. Saturday, please come quickly.
The other day this verse was in my daily Bible reading. I thought it was a great reason to step out of denial.
One who isolates himself pursues selfish desires; he rebels against all sound judgment. – Proverbs 18:1