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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

No win in comparison

Sitting here staring blankly at a piece of paper over my desk, laughing about the ridiculousness of me having a job. Can you imagine? Today, I had a conversation with someone I have never met before. They asked if I had any prayer requests. I said courage and contentment. Contentment because it is not always easy to live simply amidst so much luxury. They asked if I thought of starting any businesses. I shared I used to run more gigs, but it just kept getting narrower. As I sit here, I wonder, “Why would I run after something I know God has not promised me?”

A long time ago, I listened to Andy Stanley’s series “The Comparison Trap”. I knew yesterday that is what I was falling for. I looked it up today and made it through part of the first message. Apparently, according to King Solomon, comparison is like chasing after the wind. Utterly impossible to catch. Yup, the entire conversation I have had over the last few days is entirely pointless except in its ability to draw me closer to God.

I also had a brief sabbath today as someone took the time to pray for me. I felt renewed and like a ton had been lifted off my shoulders. Then they proceeded to remind me that God had not forgotten me and I was about to go to new levels. The latter I sort of knew. I have been a bit overwhelmed by these “levels” if that is what one would term them.

The former was really comforting. In all this busyness and pouring out, I have not felt God’s presence in the same way as I sometimes used to in prayer. I know He is there. We have been talking a lot. It just hasn’t felt as sweet to me as it sometimes used to. It is always comforting to know it is not about how I feel. There is a reality in my relationship with God that goes far beyond my emotions.

Oh, God is good. It is so categorically odd to be having this conversation about contentment. He is absolutely overwhelming me with His amazingness in so many areas of my life. Leave it to my “sinful nature” to get caught up in what He hasn’t given me. If I did have it, I know it would ruin me. Every time I have had it, it has.

And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. Fools fold their hands and ruin themselves. Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. – Ecclesiastes 4:4-6


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