Today my pastor apologized to me and the other hundreds of women in the audience for any misuse by Christian men of Ephesians 5:22-24 we have experienced in the past. He went on to explain what Biblical submission for women was. He had already covered the roles of parents and men in previous messages.
The message seemed a bit anticlimactic at the time. I had a notebook and a pen to take prolific notes since I cannot relisten for another month because of my noise/media fast. I have claimed to trust my pastor for a very long time now. I don’t have a personal relationship with him or any real desire to spend hours talking to him, but I thought I did not doubt he was a man who loved God and loved others and would not harm me in anyway if he could help it.
Then there was this morning, which seemed anticlimactic until now. I teared up a bit in the service when he passionately apologized to all of us who have had God misrepresented to us by a church. But it took me until tonight as I was thinking about my day to have a startling revelation from the entire sermon today. My pastor does not think he is better than me. He does not think he is more important than me. He does not think he is holier than me. He is not trying to keep me down. He is male, and he thinks he’s my equal. I need to go wash my dishes before I finish this because my brain is freezing over at the thought.
I’m back. Said dishes are clean. I have in months past come to the belief there are men who truly love God. I have come to the belief there are men who truly love women. I have come to the conclusion there are men who would not purposely hurt us in anyway. It had never crossed my mind to even contemplate there may be a man who does not secretly think he is innately better than me merely because he is a man.
I must be getting sanctified (being made into the image and likeness of Christ) because my worldview is shifting. I am finding it absolutely beyond my comprehension to even imagine a world in which all men do not think they are better than all women. It just had never occurred to me there might be one man who did not think he was better than me. Let alone several. Are there men who do not think they are better than women? I thought the least gifted, poorest man on earth thought he was better than the most gifted, talented woman on earth all on account of his penis. I thought they all thought this was true. Did I think this was true?
My brain is still frozen. I cannot digest this all tonight. I am thinking of all the amazing men I have in my life right now. I cannot help but wonder if they think they are better than me? Maybe I could ask them. When I think I am better than someone, it is a silent sneer on the inside. Do they silently sneer at me? Or do more of them think we are equal? My worldview is shifting to become like His.
For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. – Galatians 3:26-28