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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

My strength

Today was a quite good day. I have noticed I am really struggling in the morning. Then as the day goes on, life gets easier. In the morning I really struggle with looking down. With focusing on the negative. With seeing life waaaay out of perspective. In the morning I struggle with a lot of pride and entitlement.

I am not quite sure when or how I snap out of it. Today it was about noon. I felt filled with His Spirit and full of joy. Then I realized I was wrong in a conversation with a friend yesterday, so I called her up to tell her she was right and I was wrong. I realized I had taken step 10 without thinking. It is nice to promptly admit when I am wrong. It doesn’t hang over my head like a dark cloud.

I also had a lot of fun being an extrovert tonight. I hope this sticks. I hope having someone in my life tell me they think of me as a strong introvert that doesn’t have fun woke me up for good. It sure was a lot of fun to be outgoing and laugh and joke. We all had a good amount of fun, I reckon.

I need to find a way to have joy early in the morning. I do not want to wait until noon to experience the joy of my Lord. Philippians says mature believers always rejoice. I think I am going to take up that concept and apply it to my spiritual growth. Goodness, but I never want to lose my joy again! I would so much rather have people think I am drunk when I am actually just giddy with being thankful and joyful with the joy of my salvation. I would rather just be filled with the Spirit!

I am still experiencing huge emotional swings, which means there was a down time this afternoon. It was the perfect time to write my weekly thought, which wasn’t necessarily so cheerful. Just true. I occasionally still want to harm myself. I don’t plan on doing that though. Just the mood swings so.

That is my day really. For the joy of the Lord is my strength!

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:4-7


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