Monday – 9:30 PM
Today was a very good Sabbath. I had all kinds of time to relax. I spent most of the time reading my textbooks for school. I really spent a lot of today celebrating. I am thinking right now how important it is to never sell God short. I am so thankful He is our Redeemer.
I shared a few months ago about my pastor sharing, “The God who called you into being, longs for your presence and He deserves it.” “The God who called me into being” part has changed my conversation completely. It has given a purpose to my pain. I don’t always understand why God called me into the situation He did. In fact, I cannot understand at all why He did. But knowing He did gives me great purpose. It somehow helps me feel like all my suffering has a meaning.
I love to start my morning prayer time with my focus on God being the One who called me into being. Somehow, it brings my attention to Him being worthy of my worship. I literally owe Him my entire substance – the atoms from which I am made. I owe Him me. Why wouldn’t I worship this Being who has the power to have made me and formed me and gives me life?
The first time I fasted for any length of time a little over a year ago, I learned for the first time in my life I would die without food. I had always known that intellectually, but the amount of energy I lost taught me it literally. That changed my conversation, too. I am nothing without Him, and I am so unindependent that I will die without food. I am so weak I would die without that little itty bitty amount of wimpy molecules I eat everyday. I cannot exist by myself. Not at all.
Today there was a point when I wanted to paint an entire wall of my apartment with an impossible to miss message, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” My God is a Redeemer. In my humanity, with my weakened understanding of love, I have a hard time relating to God’s decision to not kill off Adam and Eve. I am so thankful God thought a relationship with you and me was worth watching the pain He would have to watch and experience as He waited for everyone to come to Him, so they would not perish. Isn’t it incredible that He thinks a relationship with us is worth dying for?
The same power that raised Him up is the power that lives in us. I get to serve the God of the universe. Isn’t that incredible?
I am continuing the conversation I was refusing to have with God. He is doing a great work in me. May He next do a great work through me!
The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent. – 2 Peter 3:9
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