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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Moving past the pain

Today was mostly awesome and quiet and filled with peace, joy and happiness. I freaked out once over recovery and trusting people, but I was able to talk to God about it and move past it. I think my day actually became better after the freakout. I seemed to acquire a new level of peace and joy after praying through my freakout.

My counselor pointed out yesterday that resentment is the opposite of acceptance. If I am resenting something, there has to be something I am fighting. I thought about this a little. I do fear intimacy (knowing and being known), but I do not want to resent it. I suppose I do not want to fear it either, but I think fear is easier for me to overcome than resentment. I want to embrace the amazing life God is giving me. I want to enjoy it; I do not want to be frozen in fear.

I also had another revelation today about how selfish I can be when I am hurting or feeling needy in my personal pain. Now that the media fast is past, I want to focus on improving my spoken grammar and becoming less selfish in my relationships. Moving past my own pain to love others instead of being frozen in pain or fear. Basically, I will be working on running to the throne instead of the phone. The phone is nice, but I want to talk to the One on the throne first.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28


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