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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Moving on

I am exhausted. I may be getting sick. I can’t quite tell if it is going to stick with a cold. I had a pretty good day. I had counseling this morning. It is turning into an interesting experience because we are no longer working in an emergency-type mindset. I have stabilized, so now we can go deep in areas that are not currently driving me crazy.

It is interesting to accept the choices I am making in life. I got to process quite a bit of stuff with her this morning. I would not change the decisions I am making in my life right now, but there is still a grief factor in the making of them. I am thankful Jesus didn’t tell us not to grieve or cry when we take up our cross and follow Him. I am not entirely sure, but I think it is a really healthy thing to grieve for the things I sacrifice for Jesus. I also think most of the things I sacrifice I do not really sacrifice. They were toxic for me anyway, which is why He asked me to give them up. I often find myself complaining about my present and telling myself lies about the things I am giving up. Somewhat like the Israelites did in the wilderness when they wanted to go back to Egypt. I in no way want to go back to Egypt, but sometimes I think it is a sacrifice not to go back. Which is absurd because I was a slave in Egypt, and there is some pretty amazing manna here.

Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.” – Mark 8:34-38


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