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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Moving forward

I was at church from 8 until 3 today. It was an emotionally eventful 7 hours. One of my meetings was for a mission trip I am going on to Mexico in four weeks. For some reason I emotionally crashed during the meeting.

Then I went out for a drink with a girlfriend and immersed myself in girl talk for a couple hours. It was absolutely lovely. There was a day in my life when there was no girl talk for me to discuss. There was a time in my life a short month or two ago when I was too shy or had too many walls to immerse myself in girl talk. I like being a girl now. Biggest celebration ever.

I have a couple decisions I am trying to follow God in right now. They are tough because making less money is a tough decision. I already do not make very much, but I have more than enough. When I am not feeling poor in the world’s standards, I am feeling abundantly blessed because of what He has provided for me.

Generally I am just budgeting and trying to not resent sticking to a budget. I have a really hard time not resenting budgets. Sometimes I start resenting God because in a round about way He is in charge of my budget or at least I like to think He is. Budgets take sacrifice. The annoying part about sacrifice is I have to be sacrificial. Being sacrificial for one month is okay. Two months is okay. Three months starts to get hard. Four months makes me wrinkle my nose. Whatever month I am on right now is making me want to be an extravagant spender for just a day.

I need wisdom to know how to allow myself to spend enough on a regular basis to not have a desire to binge spend. But I have learned one thing about spending. No matter how little or how much I spend, I always want to spend more. It is an appetite. If I feed it, it gets hungrier.

Yeah, I am going to quit whining and just be thankful. I have a goal.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:11-13

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