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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Mixed emotion

Today is super weird. Lots of really positive spiritual growth, but it is joy coupled with sorrow. It is a lot of repentance. I guess the joyous parts of the day came from parts of my life where I have more successfully turned around. The sad parts came from parts of my day where I am beginning to turn around. Sometimes to turn around one must let go of the past. I am working on that today. I am sad because letting go of what is familiar can be scary. Today I am getting rid of a lot of things that are familiar and sad and full of shame or disgust or disappointment. One would think I would be glad to do so, but honestly I feel a little sad not having them here. A little less like this is my temporary home. It is time to move on. Time to move to a future that has more joy. There is no need for the shame of the past in it. It is time for it to go. Hello Jesus Christ, I am so grateful for Your redemption.

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

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