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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Mind-blowingly gracious

Tomorrow I am planning on doing something more humbling than anything else I have done in years. There must be something more humbling I have done in my life. But since all the other things are behind me and this is ahead of me, this feels by far the most humbling. I am sure it must be. Hopefully I will remember to tell you tomorrow night if I was brave enough to do it. I think it is time for Laura to have a good humbling, but just thinking about sharing that with even my best friend is truly terrifying.

God, give me the courage to change the things I can.

Today was an excellent day. I had X time again. X time always comes in three or more increments. Morning, noon and evening. I had great prayer time today. I was able to spend a great deal of time asking Him to bring to mind things I was bitter about that I needed to repent of. I sat with my hands open and asked Him to take away the pain from those events and the bitterness I allowed to take hold of me. He has told me a lot this week in relation to bitterness to “Not give the devil a foothold.”

I did not even know I was bitter about many of the situations that came to mind. I had been projecting it so badly on other hurts in my life. God has been giving me an incredible opportunity at renewal and forgiveness. Though I truly want to let go of my bitterness and anger, I have to re-let go of it several times a day.

God has been showing me how merciful He has been toward me regarding my own life story. Tomorrow I am sharing something with someone from over eleven years ago. It will be a demonstration of how God has changed me incredibly. But He did not just have mercy on me for that time in my life. He has had an incredible amount of mercy on me in the last two years. I am letting go of bitterness and going back to love!

After I let go of so much bitterness during prayer time, I asked God if there was anything He would like to replace all the stuff I had just given away. If He could just show me that and help me be open to receiving it. I once again sat with my heart open to His direction. Yes, there were some things He wanted to replace my bitterness with: His mercy, His grace and His love.

God is really incredibly patient with me. Mind-blowingly gracious.

His grace is enough.

But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. – 1 John 1:7

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