So at 9 o’clock this morning I sat on the couch in an empty house (of someone I babysit for) and cried just a little bit. I am tired, people; and I don’t know why. I am getting my x time. Well, today is going to cut it close. But I was getting my x time. I do feel very renewed from meeting with my regular church group girls.
This whole conflict I am having with my current level of rest has me having “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?” going like a tape in my head. I do not understand the drain of my emotions. The idea of writing just saps me of strength. Engaging in the SSA (same-sex attraction) conversation is a whole different playing field of spiritual warfare.
I started one of my last two people for inventory tonight. The two I did not plan on doing. I was praying through it, staring at my paper and asking God why I had to rehash it again and why wasn’t I entirely free yet? I did not find any answers. Well, not true. I had some insights I have never had, but nothing as life changing as the Saturday time with God.
Now I am off to finish my x time and take a nap. May His Kingdom come.
The Spirit and the bride say, “Come!” And let the one who hears say, “Come!” Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life. – Revelations 22:17
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