If I was worried about miscommunication in last week’s article, I am really worried about miscommunicating in this week’s article. Or perhaps I am more worried that you will pity me. No, I am worried that the end result of the miscommunication will be you pitying me. Also that you will think I am ungrateful for your love. I am grateful for your love, and I greatly enjoy it.
Now if I pretended yesterday didn’t happen, I could tell you that this last month or so of my life has been filled with a lot of joy and peace. And then I would proceed to tell you how I came about coming to a point of finding this ability to enjoy the joy and peace that God freely gives me through His Spirit. Then there is a 50% chance you would pity me. So now, in spite of a really off-balance few hours yesterday, I will proceed to tell you about a few of the catalysts for the onset of a better life for me on earth.
You see, one day a few weeks ago, I realized that I had no one on earth except my grandparents, who are getting closer and closer to seeing Him face to face, who is committed to loving me until one of us dies. Most people in my life plan on being in my life until things more important to them than me take them out of my life. Then we both know we will move on and, in most cases, meet again in heaven.
This realization filled me with relief. No wonder I go through some of the emotions I do! My grandparents live 3,000 miles away. I am surrounded by an amazing group of people here, I really am; but ultimately it is me and Jesus. Jesus is the only one invested in me for the rest of my life. Because, let’s face it, statistically speaking my grandparents will leave this world before I do.
Then, I believe it was a few days later, I had another powerful realization. I think – I could be entirely and completely wrong – my grandparents are the only people on earth who love me more than they love their career. (And to be bitterly honest with one’s self, they are kind of past the age of testing this theory.) I have no one in my life, that I am aware of, who would pass up a promotion in order to love me better. Many of the people in my life are so consumed with keeping their current position that they don’t have much time to spend with me at all. It was another brutal realization, which made my life sound pathetic.
Yet I found myself soooo relieved. No wonder I sometimes deal with the emotions that I do! Especially because according to the “love languages” my core love language is quality time. I thought about it and could come up with only one person in Jersey who I actually felt I had quality time with on a regular basis. There was one person who I could think of who loved me in this way. Once again, the person was retired. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, God has planted me in a country that has no time and in a part of that country that has even less time.
I have told these realizations to several of my mentors, so far none of them have been able to argue with it. One observed that in America, many people don’t even love their spouses and children more than their career. What could I expect?
So there was my pathetic life staring me in the face with no one even interested in committing to me until death (I am not speaking here merely of marriage, but of Christ-centered friendships) and no one loving me more than they loved their own financial security or whatever it is that so many of us find in our careers.
In the midst of what seemed so pathetic, Christ’s love for me shined brilliantly through. There is One who was willing to move heaven and earth to love me well. There is One, who didn’t just give up a promotion to love me, but in some way took a tremendous demotion. No, He did not give up being God, but He did become willing to be man. In order to love me well, the mightiest Being in the entire universe allowed mere mortals to beat Him to pulp and nail Him naked to a cross. He allowed insults to be hurled at Him by the most respected religious leaders of the day and criminals alike. His blood slowly drained from His divine body as He laid down His life for me. No one, He says, took it from Him; He laid it down of His own accord.
It is true that I live in a world where the love of people in my life is often not enormous enough so as to make me feel awesome about my home on earth, BUT there is Someone who loves me more than I will ever comprehend. This love is what makes it possible for it to be entirely safe and wise for me to open my heart to the world around me and love them the way Christ, who is Himself God, loved me.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19
I am loved.
How can you know a love that surpasses knowledge? How do you respond when you realize the fallibility of the human love which surrounds you? Do you ever take a moment to realize the magnitude of Christ’s love for you?
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