Today was good. Very grounding. I spent the last several hours watching movies and hanging out with God. It was pretty awesome. I had more than three full meals today. I am excited about it. I am on a roll. I am really grateful I do not have to stay stuck and off the wagon. I do feel a little bit in an alternate reality. I never knew the cost of following Jesus was going to be so great. It seems there will be many more tears on this journey with Him.
Honestly I feel a bit odd today. Like I am different than I have always been. Like it is the first day of a different life. Like my life will never be the same again because I have chosen a sacrifice too big to change. Odd how a few facts about my life make me think I must be so heartless. I cannot believe the person I am on many levels. Never knew I could love this much. Never knew I could hurt this bad. Never knew I could be so selfish. Never knew I could be so selfless. Never knew life would be like this.
Whoever does not take up their cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Anyone who welcomes you welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me. Whoever welcomes a prophet as a prophet will receive a prophet’s reward, and whoever welcomes a righteous person as a righteous person will receive a righteous person’s reward. And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward. – Matthew 10:38-42
Comments