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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Like a soldier

Well, for the last 15 minutes I have felt like fighting again. Today really knocked me out. I am not sure why. I did not feel like I was winning at all. I didn’t even feel like I had anything left to fight with. My brain was out of it. I may have overworked it last week. Until only a very little while ago, I didn’t think I had any desire to fight anymore. No, that is not true. I wanted to want to fight. I just could no longer imagine winning. I feel like I have been fighting for a decade, and I have. Healing has been such a long, long battle. Will I ever live one day when there isn’t a battle to live and love well? Today I listened to something on eternity. When I thought about heaven, I thought about how thankful I was that nothing evil is ever let in. There is a place where this will be behind me. Someday winning will feel even more like winning. Some days all it feels like down here is getting bloody knuckles. Because I don’t fight like I am beating the air, I punch stuff.

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God. Romans 8


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