I think I am confused right now, which is probably proof that I am confused. It is probably a good thing I am mainly just confused about the story line of my current favorite TV show. I hate it when actors decide to quit shows and they have to change story lines. Such a bummer! Anyways, I also am slightly confused about myself and the boundaries in my life. I am confused about whether I am selfish or unselfish or overly protective of my energy or under protective of it.
I did spend time today being incredibly grateful and praying for many of the incredible people around me. I also spent some time in the pit being just a little bit afraid. I don’t want to give the devil a foothold. I don’t want to give my sinful nature a foothold either. I want to rest in Him. He is, and there is no one like Him. I want to rest in knowing Him. I want to be fully satisfied in Jesus. And I can be, and right now, I so am. And as I say that, I long for tomorrow.
Today was awesome because I was so at peace with Him that I longed for and was excited about the rest of my life on earth. I am so grateful I get to experience God’s goodness on earth and not just in heaven.
I am learning to feel secure in my relationship with God. I am in this Romans study and what I am learning right now is this. As I look back over the last eleven years after I gave my life to Christ (wow, I just realized my spiritual birthday is this month), the right thought when I think of all the messes I got myself in isn’t “I am so thankful that is not who I am anymore.” The correct thought is “I am so thankful that is not who I was” or “I am so thankful that is not who I am.”
I think I used to think that is who I was five years ago. But I haven’t been that girl in nearly a dozen years. God made me someone else. It has just taken me a while to figure it out. I am so grateful for God’s goodness. I am overwhelmed that He really is what my heart desires.
I am pure and right and just like God, and God is the one who says I am. Wow!
LORD, you alone are my portion and my cup. You make my lot secure. – Psalm 16:5