Saturday – 11:30 pm
The one thing someone thinking about going through recovery needs to know about my day is that there is hope. I am changing. I am happy to be changing. Being the way I was was dreadful. For me more than the people around me. At the rate I am working on boundaries, I am going to get plenty of practice having tough conversations. They are not near as bad as imagined they would be.
I also enjoyed two parties today. You know, actually enjoyed them. I managed only a small amount of social anxiety before each one. That is a major improvement.
Life is getting better everyday. Life is sort of fun when I start to stick up for myself. I try to do so nicely, but I need some practice growing tact. Twenty nine years is a really long time to wait to stick up for one’s self. I have tried to develop some tact. Definitely not a strong point.
I am still trying to figure out boundaries for my most difficult relationships. I have no idea what to do about them. Well, I have ideas. Just not the communication skills – yet.
I wonder if God ever calls anyone to sacrifice too much? If laying down one’s life to save it is literal. It probably is. He did after all say it. I suppose if I am supposed to lay it all down, I never have to wonder how much I should lay down??
Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. – John 17:24
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