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  • Writer's pictureLaura Kae

Lay me down

Today was super okay, except I am missing a bunch of my hair clips and I don’t know where they went. I did not get to spend extra time with God this afternoon like I have been. I missed it. I missed furthering my growing experience. My life has been far from boring these last few weeks. Conversations with God are never boring, and they do not lead to a boring life.

I had the opportunity to think a lot about grace today. This is the first time that I am working through the 12 steps and really loving step 3. In the past, I was always like, “yeah, so? I accepted Christ like 9 years ago. I can sleep through this.” But this time, it has been really cool to remember who I was before I believed in Jesus and who I was after.

The acronym for the last lesson of step 9 is GRACE because we need a lot of grace as we make amends. I am glad God has a desire to show us favor – to lean towards us. To love us. I am a really big fan of God. Some days I wish I was more self-sufficient. Being so dependent is hard on my pride. I am still a very proud person. I do not know why I would want to be more self-sufficient. Being a high-maintenance Christian ought to be a good thing. Tonight I am very glad I need God so very much.

I am changing. My life is changing. It is a little bit scary because both are changing dramatically. At least from my perspective.

Hand on my heart this much is true. There’s no life apart from You. Lay me down. Lay me down.

I love how much I love homeless shelters. It is amazing how much I feel at home in them. Now those are my kind of people.

Many of his disciples said, “This is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?”

Jesus was aware that his disciples were complaining, so he said to them, “Does this offend you? Then what will you think if you see the Son of Man ascend to heaven again? The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. But some of you do not believe me.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning which ones didn’t believe, and he knew who would betray him.) Then he said, “That is why I said that people can’t come to me unless the Father gives them to me.”

At this point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him. Then Jesus turned to the Twelve and asked, “Are you also going to leave?”

Simon Peter replied, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe, and we know you are the Holy One of God.j”

Then Jesus said, “I chose the twelve of you, but one is a devil.” He was speaking of Judas, son of Simon Iscariot, one of the Twelve, who would later betray him. – John 6:60-71


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