Today by way of signing off an email, I closed with “(a believer in Christ who struggles with…)” and listed a few of the big ones. Just listing those few made me think I should just close with ” who is generally messed up”. I know we are supposed to be positive. I don’t claim to be anymore messed up than anyone else really. I think I look more messed up, but I just admit it.
I got a lot of work done today. I think. I forgot to write down what I did, so I really am just guessing. But I did new things today, checked a few things off my list and reached out to a few people. One of whom unknowingly gave me the missing link in my novel. I had one part of the plot line I was unable to get worked out. That is gone now. I am excited about that.
I am working on the forgiveness thing. I really am. In some stories, people forgive just all of the sudden in one sitting. My forgiving always seems to take some time as I process what I am upset about, work through it with God and let it go. In this case I didn’t even know I was upset or projecting until Monday, so it is taking me sometime to sort through which parts of the hurt I am projecting past pain onto this person and which parts actually hurt me.
I had much better quiet time this morning, and I felt God throughout my day. I am glad I like to be aware of His presence. I do not like it when I cannot feel Him even when I am having an unmultitasked conversation with Him. I prefer to know Him.
For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. – I Corinthians 13:12